How to deal with breakup

It is quite easy to develop the rift between lovers. It won’t continue and either of boyfriend or girlfriend might done the patch work in good number of cases. But considerable cases can be found where the rift grows and disintegration happen. This break up is not the nice one and surely at least one of the partners is gone with spoil feelings and busted heart. Many of us are self centric and do not accept that we feel the heat after the disassociation. For the outer world we show that we are silent and strong enough to control our sentiments and feelings. But in the corner of our heart, the pain persists and triggers the questions like “What mistake I did?”, “What could I have done better?”, “What could I avoided?” ….and so on.

Next, we should think how to get relief from this pain, how to heal this wound in mind and how to continue our life journey happily. This healing is a process and psychiatrists suggest various stages in it. Healing process will vary and take different time duration based on the power of the link you had with your lover.

The first step to healing after the breakup is acceptance. You have to accept this love failure as like the other failures you accepted in your life before. You have to console your mind that you are not the first victim of love failure in the earth; so many historical stories and evidences are available for the same occur to range of people from king to common man. It is easy for the one who trigger the rejection and throwing away the other. It will generate the greater wound mark in the heart of the receiver in the pair of the lovers when the key divide happen in love relationship. You have to understand that your love relationship was broken and admit that you may not obtain your ex boyfriend or girlfriend.

The second step to healing is “forgiving”. It is human nature to commit mistakes in life. Do not waste your time in doing postmortem to find who was responsible for the disassociation. Do not find fault with other partner even if he is the sole owner for this break up. You need to pardon the other party. This does not mean that you are comfortable and justify the worst happening for your love. Pardoning is a good to follow and just agreed the mistake. Then try to wipe out the failure from your heart and mind. Keeping it in mind is dangerous to your mental and physical health.

The third step is “moving on”. This is the hard part of the curing process. There is no doubt that you had lot of trust with your lover and the breakup was a great shock to you. You should take control of your mind and start erasing the events you had with your lover. You need to stop thinking about the incident which led to this separation and about your ex boyfriend altogether. If you are a free and friendly person, mingle with others and try to get new friend, who can replace your “ex” in your mind. So carry on to live and secure the new friend and connect with the new friend and strengthen the bond between you and your latest friend.